Left Behind but Not Defeated

In less than 2 months, most of my classmates from my senior class from high school will be graduating college. My news feed will be engulfed with tons of pictures filled with smiles with their family and friends, everyone in their cap and gowns, college diplomas, etc. Four years ago I witnessed a masters degree graduation at Columbia University and I had a dream, the initial dream began with a simple desire to graduate with my bachelors degree in political science and English in a university located in the city. I had a different perspective in life not too long ago. Many of my friends are moving forward in their careers, starting a family, or even perusing a masters degree. Four years ago, I had my goals set into graduating this May, going to law school at Columbia University this fall, interning in City hall, and have lasting memories of the true college experience by being involved with school, being a part of a sorority, school clubs, etc.

I stand here within the crossroads of my future. I now realize that in life our circumstances change. Truly from the bottom of my heart I fell left behind and in the dark. Its not due to the fact that I am comparing myself with others in my senior class nor do I feel like I disappointed my parent’s expectations of me not continuing to purse my degree in nursing. In the end, I feel like the right or wrong choices we all make in life affect our aspirations, I made a lot of mistakes the past 2 years throughout my venture towards my college education. I regret a lot of my decisions now that I am looking back I wish I can change my priorities. Regardless, one way or another I had to learn things on my own. Sometimes we find ourselves delving within our the dark abyss dwelling upon the pain and the regrets of our past. We tend to curl up in a fetal position in bed and contemplate upon the “what ifs” as life passes us by. To make matters worse I feel that I am a shadow behind the success of the people I surround myself since I am the only who sacrificed working a full time job in order to concentrate in obtaining a degree while everyone else is making money. This degree I will call it a piece of paper, this is the very piece of paper that I want everyone to know that I gave it my all: my sweat, blood, and tears.

The past two semesters I had been taking online classes, I miss the "traditional" college experience of being in a classroom, interacting with teachers and fellow classmates, and immersing myself in activities around the campus. For the fall and spring semester coming up, I want to change that. I can't keep on saying to myself "what if" or "should I". Instead, I am going to continue my education the traditional route despite everyone else's opinion.


Its an unfortunate turn of circumstances, that I will not be graduating this May. Despite all of the challenges and obstacles ahead of me, I will make it to the finish line. The instrumental piece “Pomp and Circumstance” rushes within my veins since this little piece of paper will represent my determination and hard work. As much as others will only see a college graduation as insignificant in their lives, for me walking down the aisle when my name is called, accepting my diploma, wearing the cap and gown, shaking the hands of the dean and the speaker, and lastly surrounding myself with the people who believed in me, would be all worth it in the end. Receiving my diploma at the graduation ceremony will be the main highlight of my college career. I do not care about the depressing statistics as college graduates in my generation are known as the “lost” generation, because entry level jobs are “very” scarce and many college graduates are in debt. I know that our fate is already written by the Hand of the Creator and it is up to us to strive towards our ambitions. Life isn’t about dwelling in the land of regret, life is about moving forward towards capturing our improbable dreams through our own perseverance and determination. Challenges are a barrier that we all strive to overcome and rise above the ashes of defeat. I do not know what will happen a few weeks or even months from now, but I am striving to be eligible to graduate by the end of this year.